I've never been the 'it' girl.
I've never been prom queen.
Never best dressed.
Never popular.
Never fashion fabulous.
I have a friend who is this. Well, she's most of things.
I don't think she was prom queen.
Everything she touches turns into absolute fabulousity.
People desire what she does. They want what she wears.
She's one of those really put together people even when
she has what she calls a 'bad hair day.' I envy her. Albeit,
a bit jealous sometimes. But I do love her for who she is.
She loves me for who I am: not put together, not fabulous,
not fashion anything {I'm excited for my clothes that fit me
pre-Isaiah/pre-pregnant which means dated clothing},
there is nothing 'it' about me.
To say all of these debby-downer things only means I have
something happy that's happening to me. I'm going to step
out and be brave. I'm going to show the creative side of me.
I'm going to hold my head up high even if it doesn't go well.
I've got to stop living in the shadows. I can't let my insecurities
get in the way of what I could possibly become. Am I scared? yes.
Could I fail? yes. Could someone make things better than I can? probably.
I've got to try. So here it goes.....
Introducing:
check out my facebook page and maybe you'll fall in love
with a pretty little lovely. :)
have you ever heard of the blog 'Little Miss Momma'? If you haven't, you need to. Right now.
I've been inspired by her. I need to change.
Why is it so easy to hide who we are?
Why does it seem impossible for people to accept us for who we are?
I want to be real. To show my true colors. At all times.
Why am I scared to?
Because once they see who I am they might not want to be around me.
They might see that I'm just normal.average.shy.scared.timid.anxiety ridden.
I have few friends.
Can you be too real?
I want friends. I need friends.
I am so alone in this earthly world. I need ladies to share life with.
How do you change this?
How do you change people to accept you for who you are?
I am not a mean person this I know.
I am fiercely loyal.respectful.loving.accepting.challenging.outspoken.honest.
are you?
will you be my friend?
I need honest.loyal.encouraging.down-to-earth.won't judge me for what i'm wearing.true.friends.
What do you need?
There are many times in the first year of a child's life where the mommy must win the battle. Child sleeping through the night, telling child 'no' and sticking to it, weaning from the breast and going solely to the bottle, teaching the love of veggies.....and so on and so on. So what's the thing that I'm trying to win the battle on these days? Weaning from formula to cow's milk. I had really hoped that this would be an easy transition. Isaiah has been a pretty easy baby for the most part. He can be pretty stubborn at times, testing if what I say is really what I mean. But man oh man, getting rid of the formula has been a lot longer of a process than I had expected. First it was getting rid of the bottle {he's not a baby anymore! no more bottle! so crazy}, and now that darn formula. I'm realizing more and more it is the mode of transport to his mouth that allows him to drink more some days than others....which brings up how much baby stuff costs! Want to try a new sippy cup? You gotta drop $5-$10 every time! I was hoping we would be farther along with the weaning process to cow's milk. But, he is one smart cookie who knows what he wants. Our ratio at the moment is 6-8oz of formula to 1 oz. of cow's milk. I suppose this is one of those "battles" that I'm going to have to give loads of give and take. :)
I've realized the importance of exercising. It doesn't mean it happens. But I understand that it needs to start happening regularly in my life. So....I'm committing to all my peeps to learn the art of running. I actually love running. The wind in my hair, the sound of my feet hitting the pavement, the rhythmic breathing, the sweat. I feel accomplished after a run. But I can never stay consistent with it. And I have a 1 year old to boot. Maybe I'll run a 5k. That would be good motivation. Anyways, I'm veering off from what I wanted to say.
How do you exercise with a kid? Oh man, it's tough! Isaiah is one ants in his pants kid. The local lake is where I do my "running" since it's fairly level, with a few inclines and DUCKS. Thank the Lord for creating those domesticated ducks & geese. One day we were walking around said lake and we stopped to admire the geese and they were walking right up to us and if I let him, I think Isaiah would have touched one! {but i'm sure those lovely creatures also have lovely diseases too, right?} So, today, we made it one lap around the lake {which equals 1 mile} before the screaming ensued. *The key to exercising with a child who has ants in his pants: snacks.* I busted out one of my favorite snacks, Baby Mum Mum's {flavored rice cakes that are organic, easy for babies to hold, that keeps babies entertained for a good 1/4 mile}, and we were off for mile 2. All in all, I ran about 1 1/2 miles and walked the other 1/2 of a mile until I decided to stop and take Isaiah out of the jogging stroller. Why did I do this? What possessed me? We were close enough to the car that my beet red face and tired body could hold his 26lb. body if I had too....when I thought to myself that Isaiah might want some exercise too.
I've realized the importance of my child seeing nature and smelling fresh air. Even if it is suburbia and a man made lake. He doesn't know the difference. Isaiah, I'm going to run for you. I want you to see that God gave each of us one body and it is a temple and we need to treat it as such.
Here's to hoping to 3 miles tomorrow before we enter screaming land. :)
I'm baaaaacckkkk!!!!
After much thought, a little bit of prayer, a dash of daydreaming and a message from an old college friend, I've decided to hop back on the blog-wagon.
It's been a hard past few months for me in many ways that I really don't want to talk about, but it kind dawned on me yesterday that I should get back to it. I guess the thought of only having a few readers out in the world wide web was kind of discouraging. Then I thought to myself, maybe the people that do read this get something out of it. So, for all of you out there, and especially those mommy friends, I chose to continue this blog for you. I think sometimes we choose to read about someones life to make sure that they have flaws too. Not in a bad way, but to remind ourselves that none of us our perfect despite how it might seem from the outside. As a mommy, I think it can be extra difficult when you feel like you don't measure up to other moms, or your not the weight you want to be, or your not as creative as the next mommy...the list can go on and on. I know it could in my head if I allowed it to. But why would I? What would be the benefit from it? I know I'm not a perfect mom, or a perfect wife, daughter or friend. But we have all fallen short in God's eyes. Yet He still calls us by name with arms wide open.
So for those of you who choose to read these posts, I hope you enjoy. Maybe you'll be able to relate to something I'm going through as a mommy. Or maybe you just want to enjoy the pictures of my cute little boy I'll post now and then. Life is a beautiful journey and I hope you enjoy getting a glimpse into mine.
today, i bid adieu to you my breast pump.
We've been friends for 9 months
and I no longer need your services.
Until the pitter patter of a little
heartbeat and a growing belly
returns, you'll be in that big
bin labeled "baby stuff" that we
no longer need since our little
baby is growing rather quickly.....
i'm losing readers one by one.
i had 11 readers on this lovely blog
and i was quite pleased with myself.
i figured my wittiness kept the 11 coming
back for more. now i'm down to 8.
ouch.
do i smell? is the way i write that dull?
well, i've been struggling with these questions
and more for a while {in blog world and in
reality world}. why is it hard to make
friends? why do people not want to get to
know me on a deeper level? it's hard making
new friends. really hard. well, at least for me.
once upon a time i was outgoing. i'm not anymore.
i've thought many times of deleting this blog.
what's the point? i ask myself....but, i didn't start
this blog to see how many people would follow me,
i didn't start this blog to see who would leave me
comments about what i had to say.
i started this for me. for my journey into motherhood.
for my mind to find some sanity.
for me to look back and to appreciate where i am today.
so, for my 8 fabulous followers, thank you for
following my crazy life on this blog. it really does
make my heart happy. :)
oh yah, i've lost 17 pounds. 13 more to go before i
hit my target weight.....
My child reminds me a lot about my relationship with God. Amongst the chaos of our every day, I'm making an effort to see Christ in the tasks. While Isaiah & I were enjoying lunch, he clapped his hands together asking for more food, and I spooned more food onto his tray for him to enjoy. Today though, instead of being content with the food that I was putting in front of him, he reached out and tried to grab the bowl that the food was coming from. I said to him, "Isaiah no, mommy already put food on your plate. Eat this first and then I'll give you more." After going back and forth with him on this, it hit me that this is how I am with Christ. He blesses me abundantly and my cup runs over with goodness, yet I see the hand that it comes from and demand more. I say to Him, "I don't want what I have, I want what's ahead in Your hand. Give that to me. I want it all now." Wow. How selfish am I? But isn't that how we all are? Looking for more? Asking the heavens why we aren't being blessed like our neighbor? Wondering why we are facing the situations we are facing? I know I do.
"Learning to BE" is the name of my blog and this is a "learning to be" kind of moment for me. I want to be in the blessings that are in front of me. I was to be in my situations and learn how to enjoy the journey. Like Paul said to the church in Philipi: "I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles." {Philippians 4:10-14} And he was in jail when he wrote this! Imagine....your truly are at the end of your rope, in jail, probably starving, dirty, alone and you write such an uplifting, heartfelt thought.....amazing.
Today, I choose to be content and to love every last drop of my day.....
I finally got my blog to what I want it to look like....kinda sorta. It is such a pain! I've been trying to get it all pretty for some time now, but man oh man. Between blogspot kind of sucking and my computer being difficult and maybe a dash of user dumbness, it took a long time.
I'm going to post pictures soon of my little cutie patootie, but it's getting late now and I don't want to do it right now.
On a different note, I've jumped on the loosing weight band wagon thanks to my pregnant friend who I like to refer to as the pregger jillian michaels. So, since January 1st, I've lost 8 pounds and I've been an exercising machine. Well, I'm trying to be at least. How come no one told me how hard it is to exercise with an infant?? Especially one who is so stubborn and opinionated?? In honor of the pregger jillian michaels, I bought the REAL Jillian Michael's 30 day shred....it's hardcore.which is uh.may.zing. But 10 minutes into the glorious shredding process, said opinionated child (who was supposedly fast asleep) woke up screaming. I had Jillian telling me "don't stop! don't stop the exercising process!" and my screaming child.....who screamed/cried for oh 30-40 minutes? Sorry Jillian, I gotta take care of my sweet little ray of sunshine. Anywho, it all worked out. And my journey to having a shredded body and a healthy lifestyle is hopefully just around the corner. The goal is to lose 30 pounds by June 5th. Wish me luck! Eeek! :)
this is for the wonderful ladies i work with who keep bugging
me about posting pictures of alyce's shower. :)
this is my dear friend alyce.
this picture was from way too long ago.
from before either one of us was serious about
having kids.
well, fast forward nearly 3 years, and i have a kid
and alyce has one on the way. you would think
with a camera that is nearly attached to me at all
times i would have taken pictures of alyce the day
of her shower, but i didn't. boo. but....here are some
pictures from her shower....
i decided to make a majority of the party favors.
i don't know why i decided to do such a crazy thing,
but i LOVED doing it. I found this idea from Kelly and
her fabulous 12 crafts till christmas blog. brilliant.
then i got this great idea from my friend
Julie. i also "borrowed" the idea from
julie to put pics up around the house of alyce.
such a fabulous touch...thank you for posting
your creativity jules. :)
we had the guests fill out "wishes for Lila"
i. heart. poofs. only martha could invent such an easy, beautiful thing out of tissue paper.
i'm saving my favorite creation for last....i got this amazing idea from
Rebekah at A Blissful Nest. i saw this idea and knew i HAD to do it for
alyce's shower. i envisioned this going on lila's door to her room and knew
i had to make it. fortunately, alyce liked it (i'm pretty sure.hopefully.seeing that
it took me oh, 3-4 days. with a screaming kid. and hot glue burns.but no pressure al.)
it was an honor to co-host this shower for you alyce! you are an amazing
friend and i would create all this again for you in a heart beat! can't wait to
meet you baby lila (isaiah looks forward to meeting his girlfriend too!)
so, i'm going to throw this out there into the crazy world of bloggers...
i loved planning this shower and creating the perfect decor. if anyone needs
help, ideas, someone to brain storm with....e-mail me and i'd love to help!
