today, i bid adieu to you my breast pump.
We've been friends for 9 months
and I no longer need your services.
Until the pitter patter of a little
heartbeat and a growing belly
returns, you'll be in that big
bin labeled "baby stuff" that we
no longer need since our little
baby is growing rather quickly.....
i'm losing readers one by one.
i had 11 readers on this lovely blog
and i was quite pleased with myself.
i figured my wittiness kept the 11 coming
back for more. now i'm down to 8.
ouch.
do i smell? is the way i write that dull?
well, i've been struggling with these questions
and more for a while {in blog world and in
reality world}. why is it hard to make
friends? why do people not want to get to
know me on a deeper level? it's hard making
new friends. really hard. well, at least for me.
once upon a time i was outgoing. i'm not anymore.
i've thought many times of deleting this blog.
what's the point? i ask myself....but, i didn't start
this blog to see how many people would follow me,
i didn't start this blog to see who would leave me
comments about what i had to say.
i started this for me. for my journey into motherhood.
for my mind to find some sanity.
for me to look back and to appreciate where i am today.
so, for my 8 fabulous followers, thank you for
following my crazy life on this blog. it really does
make my heart happy. :)
oh yah, i've lost 17 pounds. 13 more to go before i
hit my target weight.....
My child reminds me a lot about my relationship with God. Amongst the chaos of our every day, I'm making an effort to see Christ in the tasks. While Isaiah & I were enjoying lunch, he clapped his hands together asking for more food, and I spooned more food onto his tray for him to enjoy. Today though, instead of being content with the food that I was putting in front of him, he reached out and tried to grab the bowl that the food was coming from. I said to him, "Isaiah no, mommy already put food on your plate. Eat this first and then I'll give you more." After going back and forth with him on this, it hit me that this is how I am with Christ. He blesses me abundantly and my cup runs over with goodness, yet I see the hand that it comes from and demand more. I say to Him, "I don't want what I have, I want what's ahead in Your hand. Give that to me. I want it all now." Wow. How selfish am I? But isn't that how we all are? Looking for more? Asking the heavens why we aren't being blessed like our neighbor? Wondering why we are facing the situations we are facing? I know I do.
"Learning to BE" is the name of my blog and this is a "learning to be" kind of moment for me. I want to be in the blessings that are in front of me. I was to be in my situations and learn how to enjoy the journey. Like Paul said to the church in Philipi: "I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles." {Philippians 4:10-14} And he was in jail when he wrote this! Imagine....your truly are at the end of your rope, in jail, probably starving, dirty, alone and you write such an uplifting, heartfelt thought.....amazing.
Today, I choose to be content and to love every last drop of my day.....
